Being in the same faction is a requirement if ur doing it legit. Which you can just go to a monastery or a Pagan place and change it back once you marry. The hidden requirement is being of the same religion as them.
An "hidden" requirement is that you must be part of the lady's faction a vassal of the kingbut I'm not sure because I can't remember. You can force a lady to marry you if her father likes you enough or you can convince the lady to run away with you pretty hard, it depends on the character of the lady if her father doesn't like you.
High enough "affection" between you and her and a father that likes you.
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